Giddy

I am still giddy. Giddy about being unemployed. Giddy about being the entrepreneur of my own life. Giddy about being able to take a risk. People at work are jealous of me and tell me that I even look different.

I want to enjoy this feeling, because I imagine that it will be tested.

But I've got to tell you, the way I feel now, I may never again turn my life over to a company that decides where I need to be and how long I need to be there, whether or not I can eat at my desk, how much vacation I can take and how much time off I am allowed. I am creating a life where I am my own human resources department! Love it.

I will surely make short term and temporary commitments to employers (maybe I'll substitute teach? Or take a holiday job at a department store?). And who knows, I may even take on some freelance work. But making a career commitment of indefinite duration? I am going to think long and hard about that before I do it again.

One of the things that tied me to one company for a long time was the pension benefit. It seemed reckless to walk away both from a regular income (in the present) and a guaranteed income (in the future). But heck. My pension benefit was frozen this year so I am no longer impacting my future benefits by leaving my job, and I believe I'll find new ways to make money in the present. We'll see if that pans out.

Beyond all of that, I am giddy because my Dad just got released from the hospital. He has to go to inpatient rehab for awhile, but he is moving in the right direction. I managed to email my parents that I am leaving my steady paycheck (wimpy, I know), and got some words of support back. I am not sure there would have been quite as much support if they weren't so distracted!