A Generous Pour

I am sure that there are exceptions to this.  Every 55 Plus Community resident is not a "keep that alcohol flowing for as long as possible" kind of drinker.  

But, from my observations so far, the easiest ones to meet sure are.

Obviously, it is easy to start random conversations with people at the bars.  Everyone is there because they want to drink and chat with their neighbors.  It's akin to drinking at home - no car is necessary to get to the clubhouse, so the restraint imposed by avoiding DWIs does not really apply.  Some folks have to be at work the next day, but many don't.  Have a third! And a fourth!  

There are alternatives of course.  The pools and health clubs are also public places, but most people at the pool are reading a book, lost in their own routines or chatting with people they already know.  And know for a fact that beer and wine are available at the pool food shack at very reasonable prices.  To be fair, I was able to talk with people when I went on a bike ride with the bike club - but that was not exactly focused conversation as we dodged traffic and attempted to keep up with each other.

That bar stool has a lot to recommend it.

I imagine there is a seasonal aspect to this.  As the "snowbirds" return in the fall, I expect to see an increase in club meetings and other activities. But if I am looking at my 55 Plus social life-to-date, a lot of it revolves around alcohol..

A neighbor dropped by last night - wine glass in hand and wine as a gift - and we had a lovely chat.  I think I will like her.  Another neighbor - who I met at the bar - invited me over to her house for cocktails.  Frances and I, not to be outdone, have installed (and stocked) a wine refrigerator and a liquor cabinet.  Can I get something for you?

This "lifestyle" is a strange juxtaposition between Health Spa and Irish pub.  The gym equipment is top of the line.  The biking and hiking can become a way of life.  The golf courses beckon.  The quiet is protected.  The library is carefully cultivated.  One can find one's self here.  

But one can lose oneself just as easily.  Somewhere between the second and the third pour.  

Weight Watchers

I am aware that this borders on the cliché….  Join Weight Watchers over New Years; lose weight just in time for the 50th birthday.  Let’s just say it has been done before.

In fact, without the New Years thing or the 50th birthday incentive, it has been done by me before!  About two years before Molly died, when she had been admitted to a new school (with a scholarship!) and was settling in nicely after a rough start, I joined Weight Watchers and lost about 30 pounds.  I found the process of losing weight dovetailed nicely with the confidence I was feeling that Molly was thriving in a new environment.

The calm before the storm.

You are never really supposed to go off of Weight Watchers; it IS more of a lifestyle than a diet.   And I don’t want to blame Molly for anything – including the fact that as we went through her eventual downward slide and subsequent death I re-gained those 30 pounds.  But the fact is that my jeans don’t fit,  I hate looking at myself in pictures, I am on blood pressure medication that I could probably get rid of if I could eat differently and something needs to change.

It has been almost 3 years now since Molly died, and I am adamant in a new way that this weight come off.   I am wiser than I have ever been in my life (which is probably not saying much).  I feel stronger than I have ever felt.  I am more sure that the world is a good place than I have ever been.  And I want my body to reflect that confidence.

It is hard won. 

The Cleanse

Health Week.  Sort of.

Frances is on a cleanse.  After two years of aches and pains, and steroids and weight gain she was on a plane - going to her birthday party in fact - seated next to a husband and wife chiropractor team who happen to be local. 

Frances owns MANY sets of noise cancelling headphones.   She does not talk to people on planes.  But for some reason, this time she did.  And by the end of the 6 hour coast to coast flight, having spilled her life story and learned a bit of theirs, she was maybe not sold on their ideas.  But she was willing to listen them.

Frances was suprised by herself - suprised that she talked to strangers on a plane; suprised that the strangers were interesting.  For me, the introduction was Molly's 50th birthday gift to Frances.  Why not?   I have become accustomed to looking at the world through a new set of glasses.

There are funny stories about Frances' first trip to the chiropractor; I think she questioned exactly what she had gotten herself into as she was taken to the "Tranquility" room for her first appointment. 

But, the cleanse itself is going well.  Don't get me wrong, it's not for me  You eat vegetables and drink "smoothies" (if you want to call them that) for 2 weeks.  BUT, the change in Frances' diet is impacting me as well:  less alcohol, more veggies, brown rice, less cheese, more THOUGHTFULLNESS about what I eat.

And to be fair, I feel better than I have felt in quite awhle.

Thanks, Molly.

Trainer?

I am thinking about doing some fitness testing with an exercise physiologist. 

After several years of loss and pain and stress, the news will not be great.  I am sure the trainer will be very professional and will deliver the results with compassion; undoubtedly, some attempt will be made to find the bright spot (my, you have GREAT hair!).   But by and large the message will be similar to my Wii Fit telling me, very bluntly, that I am overweight.

One of my goals for this time off has been to exercise more, eat better and basically get back into shape.  I have done a fairly good job of cooking healthy meals and exercising, but the results have been less than stellar.   I probably do need some professional help.

The thing is, and maybe you can relate to this, I have plenty of folks willing to point out my weaknesses; I really shouldn't have to pay someone to point them out! 

But maybe I am willing to hear what someone has to say - to learn from it - and make some changes.  I just don't want that someone to be my mother - or my neighbor - or my sister!  A cool and collected professional who I never have to see again is probably better for me.

So that's the plan.   I'm getting my fitness tested this week.  And I am going to try to listen to what I am told with an open mind.

Healthier lifestyle, here I come!

Blood Work

Please look me in the eye before removing blood from my body.

I have a health condition that has to be monitored, but impacts my daily life not at all.  So, when I go to have blood drawn I am not overly concerned.   I don't like having blood drawn - I can think of any number of  better ways to spend my time - but it is a relatively routine occurrence for me and I am not terrified about what the results will be.

For many people, though, lab tests provide life changing news: they confirm a tough diagnosis or lead to enormous relief after a long period of uncertainty.  The results lead to changes in medications and are the basis of medical decisions.   I arrive at the lab inconvenienced; others arrive terrified.

So why is going to the lab such an impersonal experience?  If your lab talks to you like a human being as oppposed to an insurance card, count your blessings.  I know it happens, but I just can't imagine what it feels like.

"Insurancecardplease.  Writeyournamedownontheformandwaitforustocallyourname." 

Maybe it was the fact that I was still fasting, but I couldn't stand it.  So I smiled at the girl, who was looking down at something much more important than me,  and said.  "Good morning.  May I please have a pen?"  The girl looked up at me. She did.  And she even smiled.   But I should not have had to shock her into taking me seriously. 

For all she knew, the results of what her company was doing today would tell me how long I could expect to live.

Of course, once we were actaully looking at each other, she gave me a urine cup to fill, and of course I had to walk across the entire waiting room with the damn thing.  I am not a prude, but architecture matters.  Everyone in the entire place did not need to know that my urine was being tested!

So I am really frustrated by the time I meet up with the woman who is going to remove the blood from my body.  I will give her this - she was very skilled at blood retrieval.   It has gone very badly for me before, so I apprecaite the skill - but she did not so much as  look at me either.   "Nameandbirthdate" was all she could muster.    So I looked at her - mostly to drive her crazy -  and said,  "Hello, my name is Kate and I was born on June 26th."   Naturally, a complete sentence shocked her out of her coma.  So she looked at me, but could not be bothered to smile.

I would have left in tears if my testing had been about a serious matter.

It seems so simple.   It is not okay to forget to look people in the eye; it is not okay to forget that everybody is fragile in some way; and it is absolutely not okay to put paperwork or convenience ahead of personal interaction.  

So there.  Thanks for listening!

Kate Day!

Snow... and lots of it.

So, there was no school today, and I am guessing that there won't be school tomorrow. We are looking at a very slow week in the substitute teacher department.

Which is okay. I've got my consulting gig - which keeps me pretty busy - and I have my KATE gig which was the whole point of quitting my job in the first place. Today was a trip to the gym, and to Starbucks. I made broccoli soup and ate the egg dish that I made last night. I did my homework and took time to really understand it. This afternoon, neighbors were crocheting, and I joined them; there was homemade apple crisp and if you aren't jealous of that, you probably should be. It was a good day - the kind of day that I know I need and don't take enough of.

The down side is that Frances is at work tonight, and she's sleeping over because of the weather. The house feels lonely - I do too. And I am also aware of all of the shoveling that I will have to do tomorrow. By myself. But that's tomorrow.

To keep things interesting, I am going to wrap this day up with some watercolor practice.... maybe I'll try a snow scene! (Snow scenes are deceptively difficult....... and I couldn't pull one off.... but heck, this is my blog!)

Receeding Gums

You can skip this post if you want to. There are far more interesting - even uplifing - posts on this blog.

But today, the major thing on my mind is receeding gums. My teeth are really, really strong. They are not necessarily straight or white but they don't have any cavaties and all in all they function like they are supposed to.

My gums are a different matter all together. Any day now, the roots of my teeth are going to be completely exposed and I am going to have a peridontist on speed dial for the rest of my life. There is neither bleeding nor pain involved in this condition - I don't want you visualizing gore or anything. But, it's pretty clear to me that the aging process has made itself at home in my mouth and major dental work is likely in my future. I am REALLY not looking forward to this.

On the other hand, if I end up having to do major dental work anyway...maybe I'll invest in some serious whitening while I am at it. And then, heck, I can straighten them up too. Or maybe I can just have veneers or some such thing installed. Many options (if I hadn't just quit my job!). I guess I can find a bright side in anything.

Nevertehless, my current strategy is to postpone professional intervention for as long as possible. This is neither mature nor wise nor even remotely a good idea. It will probably lead to dentures before it leads to whitening.

Basically, I am up against my overall lack of faith in the medical establishment, my unwillingness to spend money on far too routine preventive health care, and some waning sense of immortaility; really waning if you know what I mean.

Maybe I'll get a new strategy after the new year. How's that for meeting the New Year with a smile?

Wii

This is so not fair.

I have been living my best life (thank you, Oprah!). I have been exercising and cooking healthy foods and I've got three shirts that prove I have been out there running 5ks this month.

So, how have I gained 4 pounds? I ask you this.

I got on my Wii Fit scale today and received the bad news. Wii always tells me that I am overweight - how helpful - but today I absolutely expected to be applauded for losing a few pounds over the last several weeks.

There was a small glimmer of hope when the Wii shared that the batteries were low. Thinking that battery loss had resulted in a scale malfunction, I eagerly changed the batteries and redid the body test confusing the game and lifting my spirits at the same time.

Until I saw the results.

Which were worse than they had been on the low batteries. Would I like to record this new score for my daily result? Heck no. Keep the first one.

I will admit to way too many sweet potatoes over Thanksgiving. And to discovering chocolate maritinis when I was in New York this weekend. And you know, those sweet potato pies were half price at the store yesterday. So, I will admit to buying one of those too. Clearly, I have been in denial as it relates to weight management!

Gotta love the Wii. It tells the brutal truth.

Should I eat that pie? I already had some for breakfast. And you know what? Whatever. I feel good, I am healthy. I am happier than I have been in a long time. Bring on the pie.