Paris Revisited

Ah, Paris.

How amazing to spend 10 days studying there.  There was enough of a “school” experience to keep loneliness at bay and enough of an “individual” experience to test my ability to stand on my own two feet.   Perfect.  Here are some of my take-aways: probably not what the professors had in mind, but true none the less.

1) Iceland is a fascinating place, but Iceland Air is tricky.  Iceland seems like a great country, and if Al Gore is right and global warming is upon us, Iceland may be one of the first casualties.  I’d visit soon if it is on your list. 

I guess I don’t blame Iceland for second guessing  TSA screening and requiring us all to be rescreened before we changed planes in Reykjavik (though I noted that Iceland does accept French screening; we were not rescreened on the return).  And I was okay – sort of – with being taken in to a private room for “random security screening”   in Iceland despite the fact that my plane was delayed and waiting for me.  It was not okay when there were no Iceland Air ground personnel in Paris and 250 people had to be rebooked due to a broken aircraft.   I would think twice before flying them again.

2)  The headsets in art museums are worth it.   They seem like just one more way to get tourist money, but the commentaries really make paintings come alive.  The Louvre and the Orsay are overwhelming enough – cough up the extra euros for some professional assistance.

3)  The current college aged students are really good people.  Most of the students on my trip were undergraduates.  Yes, there were some episodes with drinking too much (them, not me).  And yes, they tired quickly of museums.  But, they welcomed me and they embraced me and they invited me to lunch. 

 

4)  Americans are big and loud.   It was embarrassing but true.  We got “shushed” a lot and probably deserved it.  And on balance, we were much bigger than the Europeans.  All of the food and drink portions were smaller than I am used to, and no one was coming around in an apron with free refills of anything. There is a lesson there, no doubt. 

Overall, I loved having a room of my own, navigating the subways by myself and having the time to really sink in to such a vibrant city. 

The trip was exhausting in that everything everyday was new: the people, the experiences, the places, the expectations.   I was happy to come home.  I would happily go again.  And I am so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone – just the smallest bit – and went.

What Lies Over the Hill?

Today is one of those “turning point” days for me. 

I finished up substituting for the year and head to Paris tomorrow (for two weeks) with my own Master’s program. 

The Paris trip is a big marker for me.  It’s an opportunity to stretch my middle aged wings, test my personal strength,  and discover new things about myself.    And of course I will look for Molly; I expect that I will sense her presence in and around a good deal of this experience.  She KNOWS that  this trip is a tad bit out of character for her mother. 

And then what?   I have not had a summer off in at least 30 years.  My guess is that I will enjoy the leisurely pace for about 4 days.  And then, by the 4th of July , I will likely be doggone sick of myself.  

We’ll see.   I cannot imagine beyond these next two weeks in Paris.    The trip is one of those hills that is just too big to see over until you get to the top.

I look forward to sharing the view when I get back!

Paris

I am going to Paris as part of my graduate program.  Have I mentioned that yet?   It’s a ten day trip this summer and I am really looking forward to it.

The only problem with this whole experience is that I am old.   Looking at my fellow students,  I am old enough to be the mother of virtually every single one of them. 

We had our first “meeting” today – mostly to fill out paperwork absolving the school of all responsibility in the event that this adventure includes our death or other unforeseen catastrophe.  During a break in the paper signing,  the professor valiantly asked what we were most looking forward to.   “Eating” said one fellow traveller.  “Shopping” said another.

I am jealous of these younger students. This trip is simply fun and exciting for them at a point in their life when fun and excitement is exactly what they should be looking forward to. 

Do I even tell them?  Do I talk about the fact my daughter would be their age if she had lived?  And that this trip, for me, is part of my journey to figure out who I am without her? 

Do I mention that Frances and I have been together for 27 years and that I have never taken a trip without a family member?   Would it encourage this younger group to know that as independent as I may seem to them, they are in many ways more independent than I?

Do I  share with them that the primary reason I am taking this trip is that I have something to prove to myself about life after death?

Or should I just come up with a cute response about what I am most looking forward to?  Something like “the wine will be good and the sights oh so memorable.”

Art and Thanksgiving

Well, my art class might actually be making a difference. I have got to believe that the average 5th grader could have produced the watercolor at the left, but for me it is a BREAKTHROUGH. I really can't believe I painted it.

The painitng is of Molly's teddy bear and a ceramic dog that she painted when we visited Busch gardens and didn't want to go on any more roller coasters. The dog's right ear broke off at some point, and somehow that makes me love it more than if it were perfect. We are all broken in some way.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner... and with it the realization that our holidays have been permanently and forever changed. But, that doesn't mean that we dread them; it just means that we are going in to them with no expectations. The holidays of the past are over, and we loved them. What great memories.

But we are still holiday people. We still believe that people need to celebrate new beginnings and that it is good to remember to be thankful. We still believe that turkey tastes good and that Christmas trees can inspire a sense of awe and gratitude. And we will always believe that our bonds with both the people on this earth and those gone before are worth celebrating.

So no, I don't dread the holidays. But I don't expect much of them either. I'm pretty sure that they will be as good as I decide to let them be.

Art

One of my passions is school. I totally screwed up my education when I was a full time student; I stated getting A's, liked it, and chose classes that I was pretty sure would get me an A. As a result, I graduated in the top 5% of my college class and learned very little. Memorize? Yes. Learn? Not really. College is such a blur for me: I wasn't a partier; I wasn't really a scholar; I wonder if I was really there?

So I am making up for it now by getting a Masters in Liberal Studies. Part of my unemployment plan is to take more classes and really dedicate myself to them. (I realize that there is expense involved with this plan - MAJOR expense - another reason to abandon Starbucks).

This time around, I am not doing anything that I don't want to do. I am taking risks with the papers and really expressing my ideas - even if I think my ideas might not be what the professor had in mind. And I am LOVING it. I am taking classes I never would have taken the first time around. Who knew philosophy could be fun?

Anyway, tonight was the first night of a required art class. God help us. My last art class involved a box of 64 Crayola crayons - the kind with the sharpener on the back. I have always considered my drawing ability to be at the stick figure level so this should be VERY interesting.

To get us started, we were asked to draw balloons so that the professor could get a sense of our ability level. I thought my drawings of balloons was done - and heck, I was feeling pretty good about it. And just as I was telling myself that I was not half bad at this and that perhaps this class would not drive a permanent wedge into my GPA, the professor suggested that I had done the entire drawing backward and had a ways to go. He was nice about it.

I will keep you posted.