Weddings

This past week was dedicated to the Royal Wedding.  My mom and my sister travelled here from Chicago and New York respectively and I hosted a three day event – which nearly as I can tell is 2 days longer than the royals themselves celebrated.   

The weekend was a nod to the past: I remember Mom waking my sister and me up to watch Princess Anne’s wedding on the old black and white TV in the early 1970s.  For the occasion, Mom made crumpets using cleaned out tuna cans as a mold.  We had quite the British morning and as food and entertainment at our house went, the whole event was a triumph that is remembered to this day.

As I was getting up at 4 AM to make the tea and watch William and Kate and all of the falderal, I missed Molly, of course.  I couldn’t help but wish that she was there to add the depth of another generation to the experience of this royal wedding.  

And yet, I know that I have to consciously step away from over-emphasizing Molly’s death.   While her death may in many ways be the defining experience of my life,  she would most likely not be living at home,  even if she were alive.  The wedding may not have been on her radar screen.  She would have been busy with school or a job or whatever 19 year olds are doing these days. 

So the challenge is to let the past be the past.   The past does not have a fast forward button; there is no way to count on or measure “what might have been.”    

William and Kate’s wedding was well observed at out house with tea and scones and lemon cake.  There was laughter and snarky commenting and a certain amount of vigorous conversation over which station we would commit to for the ceremony.

And Molly’s absence – while felt -  did not fill the room.  My sister, my mother and I filled the room and somehow, I know, Molly was present.