I am honored whenever anyone drops by the house or stops me in the grocery store. Some of my fondest memories are of folks just knocking on the door and inviting themselves back in to my life.
Since Molly's death, however, having folks drop by the house or stop me in the produce aisle has become realy, really complicated. Do they know that Molly died? Are they going to ask how Molly is doing, since after all she should be in college by now? How am I going to handle questions about Molly so that the "guest" understands that I value their freindship even if I am trembling and awkward and stumbling over my words? Being dropped in on is a gift... but it is also terrifying.
And don't get me wrong, it is not a daily occurrence, but it is an increasing one thanks to all of our new technology.
Of course, Facebook offers more options that an in-person encounter Sort of. I haven't really figured out the Facebook etiquette. For example, there are some "friends" whom I shared Molly's death with when they "freinded" me. There are others who ended up on my friend list whom I didn't specifically tell. I am not sure which is the better option; there is pain no matter what as the ones I didn't tell ask, or the one's I did tell had to go through opening their Facebook page looking for the joke of the day and finding an update from me.
For me, the bottom line is this: we exisit to support each other. I will let you into my life, but keep in mind that my life is complicated. And I will try to remember that your life is very likely complicated too.
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