Walking the Tighrope

Rode my bike to the clubhouse last night.  After a FRUSTRATING day of unpacking stuff in a house full of boxes that will seemingly never be fully unpacked, I didn't think a glass of wine (or two) was a bad idea. Don't worry; I didn't overdo.

Walking in felt good - the staff already has me figured out.  Sauvignon Blanc.  On a bar stool.  More often than not, yes, I will look at the dinner menu.  

Last night there were two seats open at the bar which was otherwise full of couples who built this place.  The pioneers.    They didn't seem to want to talk with me, each other, or anybody else, frankly.  Just sittin'.   

But guess what?   If you are not open to chatting with strangers, ask for a table.  That's my theory.  If you are sitting at the bar, you are fair game.  So I started talking with them. Slowly, things emerged.  After 20 years in this community they have seen a lot of change and are a little bit crotchety about the changes.  For the most part, they are from the Western Suburbs of Chicago.  They are coupled up, but not married.  One of the guys will celebrate his 85th birthday pretty soon.

We talked about cathedral ceilings with recessed lighting and light bulbs that are really hard to change.  We talked about water softeners and the fact that they don't have one, a conversation that included a strong recommendation that we get rid of ours. 

Mostly, though, they shared their sense of days gone by when "everyone was friendly and the place was not so 'uppity'."  (I am not sure about that one.)  They shared how much the management caters (in their view) to "snowbirds" (or part-time residents).  There were stories about the tensions between the Home Owners Association and the Home Owners -  mostly about how much things cost - to the point that the bartender tried to step in once in awhile to assure me that this really is a great community to live in.

The bartender did not have to worry.  I am not scared off yet.  These folks, despite their belly achin' have lived here 20 years.  A couple of them have already sold their first house in the community and bought a second one for goodness sake.  These are not dissatisfied customers.

But things do change in 20 years.  Prices rise,  procedures are updated and friends die.  I imagine that my neighbors at the bar have long since made peace with the HOA regulation; the challenge is to reconcile themselves to the simple fact that, if this community is going to continue to thrive, it must make way for a new generation and its new-fangled, seemingly-uppity ways.

There is a tightrope here.  It runs between new and original residents; through those born before 1955 and those born later; through those who live hear year-round and "snowbirds".  It's a tightrope worth learning how to walk.